Have you claimed your Inner Child yet? I for one, have dabbled here and there and promptly forgotten her when all was said and done. The thing about the inner child is she will NOT be ignored! The more our inner children are forgotten about the more they tend to act out. I have recently reconnected with my inner child and she was a confused, frightened and lonely little girl. She not only felt abandoned and alone she felt angry about it too.
I believe my Inner Child is at the root of my addictions and tendencies towards co-dependency. Since she does not have the skill set to soothe herself she turns to sugar, carbs, obsessive behaviors and distraction. This creates an imbalance in my system and disharmony in my life. On the one hand, my Wise Self knows what actions she needs to take to create peace in my world. But, if I am not taking into account the needs of my inner child, I end up battling between my Wise Self and my Child Self. This creates a cycle low self-esteem and shame.
They key to wholeness is claiming our Inner Child.
All my life I have wanted a man to claim me. Time and time again I have picked unavailable men to be in relationship with. When these relationships failed I became lost and heartbroken. This work has shown me that if I am unwilling to claim myself then no one else can either.
Where to begin?
It begins with acknowledgement. Once my inner child is acknowledged and heard she stops acting out and I have the power to take right action in my life again. Yet, it takes more than that initial recognition. It takes constancy. I’ve begun to learn what my inner child’s voice sounds like. When my behavior feels childish I can stop myself and ask what she needs. When I ask my self, “Where did that come from?” It is often my inner child trying to get her needs met in a way my adult never would. It is, most often, that she needs to be heard.
The final piece of the puzzle is integration. This takes time. Before your inner child can be integrated there needs to be a relationship built between the parent (your adult self) and the inner child. You will know when you’ve become integrated when you begin to feel more grounded, whole and complete.
Let’s say hi to our inner child.
Close your eyes for a moment and take a few deep breaths. Go within your heart space or your belly and ask for your child to show themself. What do they look like? What emotions are they expressing? Your child may be scared or angry. Your child may be happy or sad. What ever the case let the adult you embrace the child you. Take a few more deep breaths and hold each other. Talk to your child and let them know you love them. Let them know that you are there to take care of them. It may take awhile for your child to trust you. This is normal. Now say good-bye for now and come back to this present moment. How did that feel? Now do this again the next day, and the next, and . . . until you feel your child and you as one.
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