Taking The Bull By The Horns

bull
Pastel by Della

I awoke one morning a week and a half ago and I felt tired.  I was tired of mourning the loss of my last relationship, tired of feeling bad about myself and tired of writing self-indulgent poetry.

So I took the bull by the horns, so to speak, and joined an online dating site.  Mostly, I did this because I wanted to feel desirable again.    My self-esteem was in the crapper and it needed a boost.

Online dating is not something I had ever done before.  I had no idea how to go about it.  Luckily I had a coach in my friend Linda who knew all the ins and outs of how to proceed.  I had watched and listened to her adventures in the past year and was in awe of her courage.  She was the reason I was able to take the steps to do this at all.

I put my profile up and within the first 24 hours I had 70 views of my profile and about 20 contacts.  It was a bit overwhelming.  It was pretty easy to tell right away who was serious and who was a serial dater.  Some of the interest was obviously scammers and some obviously hadn’t read anything in my profile or they wouldn’t have contacted me at all.  I even had one dude email me with anger because I was looking for someone who was into health and wellness!

By morning three I was seriously thinking of closing my profile down as this really wasn’t for me.  I took one last look at who had contacted me and lo and behold a guy who wrote in complete sentences (and paragraphs!) reached out to me.  He obviously had read my profile all the way through and was thoughtful in his words to me.  I was intrigued . . .

So, tonight, after many conversations we will be meeting for the first time.  I am both terrified and excited.  My anxiety has hit the roof and I have grief coursing through my veins.  Mostly, though, I am proud of me for taking this forward step.

No matter how tonight turns out I know I am brave and that is all that really matters.

Find out more about Della here.

6 thoughts on “Taking The Bull By The Horns

  1. Good luck! Have fun with it. I tried online dating years ago when a co-worker regaled me daily with stories and mis-adventures about all the dates she’d been on. I, too, got a lot of dud replies, but eventually got a reply–in complete sentences, with good spelling and grammar, citing my interests and how they tied to his–and I met him in person. We’ve been married over 15 years now 🙂

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