I awoke one morning a week and a half ago and I felt tired. I was tired of mourning the loss of my last relationship, tired of feeling bad about myself and tired of writing self-indulgent poetry.
So I took the bull by the horns, so to speak, and joined an online dating site. Mostly, I did this because I wanted to feel desirable again. My self-esteem was in the crapper and it needed a boost.
Online dating is not something I had ever done before. I had no idea how to go about it. Luckily I had a coach in my friend Linda who knew all the ins and outs of how to proceed. I had watched and listened to her adventures in the past year and was in awe of her courage. She was the reason I was able to take the steps to do this at all.
I put my profile up and within the first 24 hours I had 70 views of my profile and about 20 contacts. It was a bit overwhelming. It was pretty easy to tell right away who was serious and who was a serial dater. Some of the interest was obviously scammers and some obviously hadn’t read anything in my profile or they wouldn’t have contacted me at all. I even had one dude email me with anger because I was looking for someone who was into health and wellness!
By morning three I was seriously thinking of closing my profile down as this really wasn’t for me. I took one last look at who had contacted me and lo and behold a guy who wrote in complete sentences (and paragraphs!) reached out to me. He obviously had read my profile all the way through and was thoughtful in his words to me. I was intrigued . . .
So, tonight, after many conversations we will be meeting for the first time. I am both terrified and excited. My anxiety has hit the roof and I have grief coursing through my veins. Mostly, though, I am proud of me for taking this forward step.
No matter how tonight turns out I know I am brave and that is all that really matters.
Find out more about Della here.