Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I have lived in the Twin Cities for the past 30 odd years. In a few days I will be moving to Ashland, WI which is on the southern most shore of Lake Superior. I will go from living alone for the last 3 years to having housemates, from big city to small town, from sirens blaring all hours of the night and day to relative silence. I’ve been thinking a lot about what changes I want to make in my life once I move. There are some practical things I know I want to accomplish like getting my debts paid and being in nature more. But there will be other changes that will occur much more organically.
As I said, I will be living with other people. These wonderful visionaries truly want to make the world a better place. Living with people is a bit frightening for an introverted sensitive soul like me. It means playing well with others and not hiding in my cave as I am want to do. At the same time it is incredibly exciting. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will be forced to grow. It is hard to have mirrors when you live alone. We can only truly see ourselves by our reflections. These beautiful souls that I will be living and working with will be my mirrors. This is an opportunity, albeit a scary one, to see myself in new light. When you live alone you get used to the mirror being foggy. It is easy to disregard what you see as imagination. There will be no more escaping myself as I will be with people every day.
Most of all, I want my heart to heal. It has been broken for a very long time now. I recently sent out a newsletter informing my friends and clients of my move. The response I’ve received has been incredible. So many of you have expressed how happy you are for me and how it feels like this move is the “right” thing for me to do. I’ve had several people even mention the sadness they’ve seen me carrying. I thought I was hiding it better. . . see what I mean about the mirror being foggy?
I also sense a slowing down of my entire being once I get settled in my new home. I am the master of the “busy”. Every thing I do is quick. I rush doing the dishes, brushing my teeth, eating, walking, etc. You get the idea. Being busy and rushing to and fro is how I have traditionally dealt with anxiety.
This anxiety has increased tremendously over the past two years. It is partly due to my precarious financial situation, partly due to living right in the center of a busy city and being energetically sensitive, and partly due to not getting out into nature as much as I had in the past. Nature has always been the balm that heals me body, mind and soul. And, to be moving next to one the greatest lakes in the world will feed me in so many ways.
I intend to find my light again. It has dimmed with the grief that I have let consume me this past year. I saw a glimmer of that light co-teaching a Body & Soul Art Workshop this past weekend. My friend Elizabeth and I combined art & yoga for a whole day workshop. It was truly fantastic. Two of my great passions combined in one day. It reminded me that it is possible that your work can also be your play.
All in all, I am looking on this move as a grand adventure and as an opportunity to heal in ways I hadn’t allow myself before. I plan on sharing my new adventure here on this blog. I know it will be extraordinary. And, I will be returning to the Cities regularly to teach workshops and see private clients. Stay tuned!