While meditating on the word forgiveness, I was shown that forgiveness begins with self.
In looking up the definition of the word, two things stood out. One of the meanings is to pardon, and another is to cease to feel resentment. I framed it for myself this way. I need to let myself off the hook. This doesn’t say that I am not responsible for my actions. It means that once I clean up my side of the street, I no longer hold myself hostage for the wrongs that I’ve done to myself or others.
From an energetic standpoint, when we hold on to unforgiveness, we bind ourselves to the person who hurt us. When we cease to feel resentment not only do we free the other person we free ourselves as well.
How do we know we are ready to forgive? When our pain threshold is reached. We get tired of feeling angry or hurt all of the time and peace becomes more inviting than suffering. Another way to be ready to forgive is to recognize that our pain is no longer working. For example, “He done me wrong,” will often garner us sympathy from others. For awhile we are getting something in return for our pain. Before long though those people get tired of hearing the same ole, same ole and they distance themselves because they don’t want to listen to it anymore. If you are really aware, you get tired of hearing it yourself.
How to forgive?
Be willing. A mantra that I use is this. I am willing to be willing to be willing. Maybe that is all we can do at first is to say these words. These words open us to GOD (Good – Orderly – Direction). Once we allow ourselves to be directed by GUS (God – Universe – Spirit), we don’t really need to know how it will unfold. Say the words and see what happens. And, if you are still not ready? Fake it ’til you make it!
Della offers intuitive readings, both online and in person. Click here to find out more.
Have you gained weight like I have over the last few months? Are you doing everything right as far as diet and exercise but the weight won’t budge? During an Intuitive Reading with a client recently I was gifted with the reason why so many of us have gained weight lately.
Those of us who are empaths (energetically sensitive) are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, ungrounded, scattered and downright crazy at times. We live in challenging age which makes us want to disconnect from the chaos by energetically leaving our body. As a result of this disconnect, our bodies are putting on extra pounds to try and keep us in them. We are not being betrayed by our bodies we are being helped in a very primal way. You are a physical being and an energetic one as well. The physical is the home for the energetic. The physical body speaks to us through pain and pleasure and weight loss and weight gain.
I believe that staying present in the body can bring us back into balance. Here are some suggestions on how to accomplish this:
an intentional movement like yoga or dance
being in nature. Put your bare feet on the Earth and your back up against a tree
playing with children and animals
apply root lock. Squeeze the sphincter muscle, sex organs, and lower abdominals and hold as up to 30 sec. Release and repeat until you feel back in your body. (do not apply root lock if pregnant or menstruating)
visualize roots growing from the bottoms of your feet and plunging into the Earth and grounding you there.
carry your favorite stones in your pockets. Hematite, tiger’s eye, apache tear, etc. are all excellent stones to help you ground.
place a few drops of essential oil on the bottom of your feet. Clary sage, cypress, lavender are just a couple you can try.
Let me know if you have been experiencing this too. It helps to know that we are not alone. Find out more about me here.
Every morning I pick an agreement out of The Four Agreements cards by Don Miguel Ruiz to hold as a theme for the day. Always Do Your Best is my favorite. When I get down on myself for something I think I did poorly at I can ask if I have done my best at that moment. I almost always can say yes. When I hold space for myself and can ask the question it gives me an opportunity to suspend judgment.
I am also following the Deepak & Oprah program on shedding weight and one of the journaling questions is to reflect on how self-judgment fragments your life and keeps you out of balance. When I read the word fragments I had this image of myself flying into a thousand pieces every time I am in self-judgment. That visual really got my attention. No wonder I have a hard time being in my body some days.
Here is a meditation video I created a while ago to help bring back fragmented pieces of self.
What is your favorite agreement of the Four Agreements and why?
I love to paint and when my friend Elizabeth Fritz invited me to connect with my Spirit Guides through the Soul Art Process I immediately said yes.
I have worked with many guides in many ways over the years but have never experienced anything like this before. The Soul Art process is a technique that connects the individual to their subconscious self for wisdom and guidance. The beauty of this process is that you need no artistic skills whatsoever to have an enlightening experience.
My Soul Art journey was incredibly revealing to me. What came forth onto the canvas wasn’t what I expected at all. I came into the day wanting to heal some health issues I had been struggling with lately. As you can see by the image above I painted a big heart. The message from my painting is this: the key to healing my health issues is to heal my broken heart. I had spent the past two years recovering from the ending of an important relationship and my health suffered from the grief.
Elizabeth brought me through a series of exercises that freed my mind enough to allow creative guidance through. The brilliance of the Soul Art Process is that it gets you out of your own way with such gentleness that you don’t even realize it is happening.
I have my painting hanging in my bedroom. Every time I look at it I am reminded to tend to my heart. I went through this process over two months ago. Since that time my health has improved to such a state that I feel stronger and healthier than I have in many years. I recently went to the doctor for a physical and I got all the tests they’d let me have. I wanted scientific proof that what I was feeling about my health was real. Other than a slightly high cholesterol level I am in excellent health.
This playshop is a great way to pair metaphysics with what you may already be doing physically to improve your health and overall wellness. I hope you can join Elizabeth and me on March 10th for this special playshop. Click here to find out more and to register.
Definition – Compliance with a command or law; submission to authority; performing that which is required.
I immediately got rankled when I heard that obedience was the word of the day. Obviously, I have some resistance here. Once I calmed down I realized my guides were saying this word is about obeying the heart and not any kind of external submission to man.
My heart always knows the truth. It’s getting out of my head and into my heart that is the challange. There is a meditation in Kundalini Yoga called Guru Pranam. The idea is to bow down in childs pose with your hands above your head into prayer pose. This raises your heart above your head. The breathing automatically becomes long and deep. This pose is an easy way to get out of your head and listen to the wisdom of the heart. I invite you to try it.
Della is a yogi, healer, intuitive reader and hypnotherapist. You can find out about her services here.
Are you feeling “off” now that the eclipse is over? I know I am. Leading up to the eclipse I was experiencing a great deal of fatigue and anxiety. Now that the eclipse is over I feel depressed and even more fatigue. The energy of the eclipse brought a lot of my issues to the surface. I had been happily ignoring them where they were buried.
Now that those issues are uncovered I have no choice but to face them. Yes, of course, there is always a choice, but do I really want to let those buried emotions come out of their hidey holes in inappropriate ways any longer? Nope.
I live in an old historic school-house and the building is quite large. I live here with many other people. The weird thing is that for some reason everyone but me left for an extended period of time and I am here all by myself. I live on the very top floor in the attic. My first night alone I was completely creeped out to be here by myself. I hardly slept at all and I was too afraid to go down stairs to pee in the middle of the night so I used a Tupperware container to relieve myself in.
The next morning I was able to get in touch with just how ridiculous my fear of being alone in the school was. I decided to see those night time fears as a metaphor for all the scary monsters in my unconscious’ closet. I haven’t peed in Tupperware since! The point is, my issues (monsters in my closet) are all fears, fear of being abandoned, fear of rejection, fear of not having enough money, fear of being alone, and the list goes on and on. Fear is what wants to be healed right now and I am going with it.
There is a huge physical response when you let go of something that no longer serves you. It is like a virus that your body is trying to purge. The symptoms can be very similar. In my case, the virus (fear) is still wiggling around in my body trying to find purchase. The eclipse was the microscope that found the virus and my intention to heal is the antigen that will bring me back to myself.
Fear isn’t the enemy though. It was created to keep us safe. Back in the day, this was necessary for survival. Fear told us when to run and hide from the giant saber tooth tiger that wanted to eat us. As humanity evolved fear took on a new role. It adapted to its new environment. No longer is it needed to warn us of saber tooth tigers. Now days fear tells us to be afraid of everything and everyone. It even tells us to fear love. Yet love is the only thing that can face fear and shine a light on the truth.
I am going to say this right here and you may wince when you read this. I still need my fear. I am not always paying attention and I want a warning if I am in harms way. I have a strong survival instinct within me and fear can help me stay alive. Where it gets tricky is knowing when you are in danger or just being afraid because you are afraid. This is where discernment comes in.
According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary discernment is the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure. The very nature of fear is obscure which means it’s hidden in darkness. Think about the moon hiding the sun during an eclipse. If the moon is our fears and the sun is our light then we can see how the Universe is giving us a metaphor that is impossible to miss.
How do we get to discernment? Here are some of the tools I use:
I write every day. I have a 500 word a day practice. You can read about how I go about this here
yoga & meditation
Pranayam – you can’t hold fear in your body and breathe deeply at the same time (wise words from my first yoga teacher)
anything that gets me out of my head and into my heart.
This message isn’t about eliminating fear. It is about using fear to our advantage. I live in a world where fear thrives. That is the nature of living on this planet where duality is the theme. I don’t believe we are to ignore fear, or expunge it, nor deny it. The key to enlightenment isn’t the absence of fear but freedom from it. It is up to us to choose it.
Della is an intuitive reader, teacher, and healer. If you would like to find out more about how she can assist you with the eclipse blues click here.
In a previous blog post on being an empath I talked about how an empath picks up on the feelings of the people around them. This can become very confusing for the person who is just trying to live their life. For example, this morning while practicing yoga I began to feel anxiety in my chest. I didn’t know what the anxiety was about until I was journaling about it later. As I was writing I asked my body if this anxiety was mine? The anxiety immediately left me. I was able to pinpoint who I was picking up on and recognize that, once again, I was unconsciously tuning into someone else’s feelings and experiencing them as my own.
The interesting thing about this is the person I was picking up on was hundreds of miles away. The closer you are to people in your life the more “connected energetically” an empath is to the people around them. As I said, this can become confusing. It took me many years to remember to ask if what I was feeling was mine. This kind of inquiry has worked every time for me in navigating what is mine and what is other people’s stuff. I have found that if the energy I am feeling is my own it stays with me when I ask the question, “Is this mine?” If it is NOT my stuff it leaves immediately.
This is one of the techniques I will be teaching in my Care & Feeding of an Empath special event on August 5th. Click here to find out more.
First off, let’s talk about what an empath is. An empath is a highly sensitive individual who picks up on the energies of those around them. If you see someone in pain you can feel it. Being in a crowd overwhelms you. You may be sensitive to smells, foods, people, situations, and even things. It may feel like you never want to leave the house even on a good day.
Not all empaths are created equal either. Being an empath myself I have met people who are more sensitive and less sensitive than I am. What bothers me may not bother you. As a child, you may have been easily emotional and liked to spend lots of time alone.
We empaths used to be called overly emotional or “too” sensitive and it was considered a negative thing. Now, we are being recognized for the highly intuitive beings that we are. We are the healers of the world. We tend to be nurturers and environmentally conscious. We are highly creative and are often the person that is turned to when you need a shoulder to cry on.
For years, I have been reading and hearing that we as a human race will some day evolve to a place where we can communicate with one another telepathically. Being an empath is the start of that evolution. It’s not that an empath can read your mind but they do sense the emotions that you are emitting. Because this is not mainstream thinking it is easy for the empath to wonder if there is something wrong with them. We often feel like we are crazy. We may have been medicated as children or we drank and used drugs as we got older to shut it off, never knowing what it was. If this is you, you are not alone.
I have been one of the lucky ones. I used drink and drugs when I was younger but that didn’t work for me. I didn’t start to feel a measure of peace around this gift, and yes, it is a gift, until I started practicing Kundalini Yoga over 12 years ago. Since then I have learned many ways to bring myself back into balance. I want to share them with you. Check out my workshop The Care & Feeding of an Empath.
I’ve been writing. Every day. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time (can you say years!) but haven’t been able to stick with for more than a few days.
I was listening to a podcast recently and the guest said she writes 500 words a day before she gets onto social media. For some reason that really resonated and I thought I would give it a try.
I am finding this to be easy. My only “rule” is that I write 500 words. I tried for a few days to get it done before I hopped onto Facebook but that didn’t last long. I found that just the fact that it only had to be 500 words is all that really mattered.
500 words is nothing. It is only a few paragraphs. I open up a blank document and turn the word count on and begin to write. Some days I have an idea for a blog and others its just words for my journal which, once I am finished, I copy and paste the words in to. This has been a very satisfying experiment that I plan to keep doing.
Knowing myself very well I tend to need some psychological trigger to either get me to do or quit a behavior. The magic word this time was 500. I could wrap my mind around that. There is an end goal in sight. It is fun to see the word count go up and up. The last few days I have finished my 500 words without even struggling.
If you are a writer and you want to consistently get words out of your head and onto the paper, tablet, etc. find that magic thing that works for you. I have tried many different ways over the years to get me to write every day. I have bought fancy journals that remain half filled. And, then of course, I have to buy another one to start over again. I have hand painted journal covers thinking that putting all that energy into the cover would get me to write. I have created special photo journals on my computer thinking that would do the trick. None of it worked until now. It is the simplicity of 500 words that was my magic bullet. I hope you find yours.
On the rare morning that I don’t do yoga it’s because my whole being is called to the tub. I nice hot bath, for me, is another form of meditation. The warm water surrounds me and I feel encased as if in the womb.
I use to feel guilty when the tub’s call was louder than my yoga mat. It wasn’t until recently that I recognized the value of the deep silence that soaking in the bath brings. This silence is what I seek to attain through my more formal meditation practice.
I believe that whatever or where ever you can find the silence thats meditation. Whether that be a walk in the woods, a hammock by the sea or a nice warm bath. No yoga mat required.