Eclipse Blues

Della Stones 06.09.17 (4 of 34)
Photo Credit:  Linda Reed

Are you feeling “off” now that the eclipse is over?  I know I am.  Leading up to the eclipse I was experiencing a great deal of fatigue and anxiety.  Now that the eclipse is over I feel depressed and even more fatigue.  The energy of the eclipse brought a lot of my issues to the surface.   I had been happily ignoring them where they were buried.

Now that those issues are uncovered I have no choice but to face them.  Yes, of course, there is always a choice, but do I really want to let those buried emotions come out of their hidey holes in inappropriate ways any longer?  Nope.

I live in an old historic school-house and the building is quite large.  I live here with many other people.  The weird thing is that for some reason everyone but me left for an extended period of time and I am here all by myself.  I live on the very top floor in the attic.  My first night alone I was completely creeped out to be here by myself.  I hardly slept at all and I was too afraid to go down stairs to pee in the middle of the night so I used a Tupperware container to relieve myself in.

The next morning I was able to get in touch with just how ridiculous my fear of being alone in the school was.  I decided to see those night time fears as a metaphor for all the scary monsters in my unconscious’ closet.  I haven’t peed in Tupperware since!  The point is, my issues (monsters in my closet) are all fears, fear of being abandoned, fear of rejection, fear of not having enough money, fear of being alone, and the list goes on and on.  Fear is what wants to be healed right now and I am going with it.

There is a huge physical response when you let go of something that no longer serves you.  It is like a virus that your body is trying to purge.  The symptoms can be very similar.  In my case, the virus (fear) is still wiggling around in my body trying to find purchase.  The eclipse was the microscope that found the virus and my intention to heal is the antigen that will bring me back to myself.

Fear isn’t the enemy though.  It was created to keep us safe.  Back in the day, this was necessary for survival.  Fear told us when to run and hide from the giant saber tooth tiger that wanted to eat us.  As humanity evolved fear took on a new role.  It adapted to its new environment.   No longer is it needed to warn us of saber tooth tigers.  Now days fear tells us to be afraid of everything and everyone.  It even tells us to fear love.  Yet love is the only thing that can face fear and shine a light on the truth.

I am going to say this right here and you may wince when you read this.  I still need my fear.  I am not always paying attention and I want a warning if I am in harms way.  I have a strong survival instinct within me and fear can help me stay alive.  Where it gets tricky is knowing when you are in danger or just being afraid because you are afraid. This is where discernment comes in.

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary discernment is the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure.   The very nature of fear is obscure which means it’s hidden in darkness.  Think about the moon hiding the sun during an eclipse.  If the moon is our fears and the sun is our light then we can see how the Universe is giving us a metaphor that is impossible to miss.

How do we get to discernment?  Here are some of the tools I use:

  • I write every day.  I have a 500 word a day practice.  You can read about how I go about this here
  • yoga & meditation
  • Pranayam – you can’t hold fear in your body and breathe deeply at the same time (wise words from my first yoga teacher)
  • music – mantra music really works well for this
  • connecting with nature
  • move your body – walking, dancing, tai chi, etc.
  • long, hot baths
  • anything that gets me out of my head and into my heart.

This message isn’t about eliminating fear.  It is about using fear to our advantage.  I live in a world where fear thrives.  That is the nature of living on this planet where duality is the theme.  I don’t believe we are to ignore fear, or expunge it, nor deny it.  The key to enlightenment isn’t the absence of fear but freedom from it.  It is up to us to choose it.

Della is an intuitive reader, teacher, and healer.  If you would like to find out more about how she can assist you with the eclipse blues click here.

The Bigger Picture

change-begins-with-meDear Ones,

Do not be alarmed by the outcome of your election.  Whom ever you voted for trust that the highest good is in store for the planet.  You are not alone.  Even the darkest of nights can hold the most promising futures.  We invite you to look within and find the love in your heart.  Change, in all its forms, is a good thing.  You wanted change and you got it.  It may or may not be in the human body you voted for but change is upon you.  Embrace it.  Now is the time to shine your light brightly.  Now is the time to breathe deep, go within and love yourself.  Change begins with you.

Here are some suggestions to “be the change”:

  • breathe deeply
  • spend time in nature
  • connect with your animal friends
  • play with your kids
  • make love
  • take long delicious baths
  • cook and share a meal with your loved ones
  • have fun

All of these suggestions are to bring you into the present moment.  Fear is simply anxiety about the future.  Practice Presence.  It can be as simple as noticing the freckles on your child’s nose or smelling the fragrance of a flower.  Any time you bring yourself back into the NOW moment you empower yourself.  True power comes from within.

Remember the opportunity in every situation that occurs.  What will you choose:  Love or fear?

Della is a channel, healer, and hypnosis facilitator.  You can find out more about her here.

The Monster

Do not be alarmed by the darkness in this poem.  I had recently had a health scare which turned out to be minor.  I had spent several weeks on Dr. Google (thank you Katelyn for this little moniker!) trying to diagnose what was wrong with me.  I honestly was too afraid to get it checked out.  It felt different this time.  I was sure it was something fatal.  I tell you I am not afraid of death but I am afraid of dying.  I’m not sure if this fatalistic thinking is because so many of my friends are sick now and struggling with their own health problems.  And, thanks to Facebook we are able to connect with those friends in a way we haven’t been able to in the past.  What ever the reason this fear that took me by the throat literally sucked all my creative juice away.  This poem is the resurrection of that creativity which was pushed aside by fear.

b56554b16eef0719dced14402d04b95a

The Monster  

despair. . .
captured me

dropped me
on a barren
mountain

isolated
and
alone

fear. . .
the blood that seeps
from my wounds

loneliness. . .
pecks at my flesh

now
only bones remain

I am . . .
released

I see . . .
the
monster

was
only
always

in
my
mind

 

Find out more about Della here.

Trust And The Inner Child

Sad-Child“Do you trust yourself,” my friend asked?  “No” I replied.

This conversation was several weeks ago and I don’t even remember what the context of the conversation was. I do know the question had a profound impact on me.

After that conversation I had to ask myself why?  Why didn’t I trust myself?  The answer lay with the child within.  She didn’t trust the adult to take care of her.  Why would she.  I had abandoned her.  I had ignored her voice.  It wasn’t until recently that I had even acknowledged her.

The evidence of my life shows me that I have always been provided for yet the fear of not being so persisted.  Fast forward weeks later and I find that the fear I have been living with my whole life has lessened.  I still feel fear but I can go within now and know that everything will be all right.

How did She come to trust me?  I had to consistently be there for her.  Whenever fear would show up I would go within and imagine myself holding her.  I had to show her time and time again that I would be there for her no matter what.  Now, when something happens in my world I can feel that everything is o.k.  It’s a different experience than I’ve had before.  I feel safe.  I feel loved.  I feel supported.  She feels heard.  I am no longer in conflict with my inner child needs and my outer adult expression.  We feel. . . One.

If you are interested in learning more about the inner child and how to become one with her check out my website.

The Fear Bone

tail_bone_nj_3-672x372In talking with a client this morning during an intuitive reading I was sharing with her how I was feeling her fear all the way down in her fear bone.  What I had meant to say was tail bone. This Freudian slip got me thinking about all the “stuff” that gets trapped in the 1st chakra at the base of the spine.

I like to think of chakras as little computer hard drives that store information.  We can access this information in several ways.  We can meditate on the chakra and ask it to reveal any clues to the fear.  Another way is to observe the thoughts we are thinking.  Negativity, insecurity, thoughts of lack or experiencing lack of support are all signs that the first chakra has fear stored there.  Troubles with your low back, sacrum, legs or feet are physical manifestations of the fear bone being active.

What to do with this information?  There are several ways to diminish the fear stored in the body.  One way is through yoga.  Yoga is an ancient practice that opens up the body to release negative emotions that get trapped there over time.  Journaling is another way to process fear.  Talking about fears with a friend or therapist is another way.  Getting a massage or having a healing session with someone who can “see”  the fear and then help to shift it is another solution.  My all time favorite remedy is to breathe into the fear.  Did you know we can not hold fear in our body and breathe long and deep at the same time?  Give it a try.

Fear is neither good nor bad.  Fear is information.  We decide how we are going to use this information.  We can choose to put up blocks that protect us from experiencing life in all its gory, I mean glory.  Or, we can acknowledge fear and say thank you for sharing but I’m going to do this thing I’m afraid of anyhow.  I know it isn’t as simple as that.  These tools and techniques are a good place to start.

Della is an intuitive reader who has many years of experience with these matters.  If you’d like some helping moving through fear connect with her through her website.

A Conversation With Fear

20044 DThis article was originally posted to my now defunct yogagirl’s blog on March 24th. 

This is a post about making fear your friend.  If not your friend, at least acknowledging fears existence.  We live in a world inundated by fear.  We can not escape its presence on the planet.  My habit has been to ignore fear, battle fear or try to will it away.  None of those practices actually eliminates fear – quite the opposite.  It gives fear more power.

Today I used dance as a way to hold space for myself and my fears.  I have always been too afraid to do this. If I looked at my fears too closely I feared they would consume me and I would be lost. This was powerful for me as it gave me a tool to move it out of my body without the battle of wills I have engaged in the past.

I talked to my fear.  I let it know it was o.k. that it was there.  Something I would have never done before.  As I danced I felt my body shift out its rigid strangle hold that fear wraps me in.  My limbs became loose and buoyant.  I felt free.

Fear will undoubtedly come back but I know how to engage it now.  I know how to speak to it through dance.  Last weekend I went to a place called Dance Church here in Minneapolis.  The woman who held space for us dancers asked everyone to let the dance be the conversation.  I loved that imagery of speaking through my bodies relationship to the music.  It gave me permission to converse not so much with the other dancers but with me.  Who am I if I don’t talk to my own soul?

Read here about my 21 day dance journey to heal life long body image issues.

To find out more about my healing services please visit my website at www.innerpeacemovementstudio.com

Fear: The Master of Misdirection

images
The Scream by Edvard Munch

Originally posted back in March to my now defunct Yogagirl’s blog site.

Stillness is hard.

Stillness is surrender.

Stillness means I have to trust.  Something.

I am writing this in hopes to get insights into the art of stillness.  I’m not very good at stillness.  I am a mover by nature.  I move my body.  I move my mind.  Movement keeps me safe.  Or so I have always thought.

This morning, as I was writing in my journal, I was given a football metaphor by my IGS (Internal Guidance System).  The metaphor is this:  I am the quarterback.  I am the quarterback who never passes the ball.  I look down field and I see receivers but I don’t trust them to catch the ball.  I am constantly in a state of feeling like I’m about to be sacked (anxiety).  For the life of me I can not release the ball.

I move on to other thoughts in my journal and then out of the blue it hits me.  I can pass the ball to my spirit.  That part of me knows more than I do.  In my mind I pass the ball to my spirit.  O.K.  I’ve let go of the ball.  I can move on with my day.

I get on my yoga mat and there is an unusual amount of stiffness in the backs of my legs.  Intuitively I know this is fear I am holding in my first chakra.  On an emotional level the first chakra represents safety and security.  I don’t feel safe so I hold a lot of tension in the backs of my legs.

I find my quiet place and my IGS tells me to be still today.  More anxiety comes up.  I can’t be still.  I can’t do NOTHING! If I do nothing then nothing will happen. “I CAN”T DO NOTHING!” the voice in my head cries louder.  I begin to panic.  I start to breath deeply as the fear grows stronger.  Fear tells me it is keeping me safe by keeping me busy.  I know this for a lie but it is how I have survived these past 50 years.  I am afraid to let go.  If I let go I die.  Surrender = death.

I know in my heart that I will be safe if I surrender.  Yet the old patterns cling tightly to my body.  There has been a lot of inflammation in my body for the past several days.  My IGS told me it was fear.  The wise part of myself hears the truth in this.   Fear tells me it is something in my diet.  “It must be the sugar you ate in the chocolate covered almonds last night.”  Fear always tries to misdirect me from my truth.  Fear is the master of misdirection.

I come back to center through my breath.  Stillness is in the breath.  I ask myself what do I have to lose if I am still?  I have the courage to find out.  I will let you know . . .

Find out more about Della and her healing services here.

Learn more about the Chakra system in Anatomy Of The Spirit by Caroline Myss

A Conversation with Soul: The Nature of Existence

og3123201505152106318Soul:  Ask me a question?

Self:  I’m afraid you’ll answer.

Soul:  I always have your back.

Self:  Why is there so much fear in the world?

Soul:  Because you don’t understand the nature of existence.

Self:  Which is?

Soul:  Love.

Self:  How do I love?

Soul:  Be still a moment and listen to your breath.  What do you hear?

Self:  My heartbeat.

Soul:  Now listen to your breath and your heartbeat.  Take a few moments to do this.  What do you feel?

Self:  Relaxed.

Soul:  That is love.

Self:  Huh?  How can relaxation be love?

Soul:  Because fear is tension and the opposite of tension is relaxation which is love.

Self:  That sounds too simple.

Soul:  You have just discovered the root of fear. . . Your thoughts.  So to bring more love into your life relax a little more, breathe and listen to the beat of your heart.  Yes, it is that simple.

For more information about Della and her services click here.

False Evidence Appearing Real

fear-false-evidence-appearing-realFor awhile now I’ve been experiencing strange physical symptoms that are keeping me very distracted. I’ve journalled about it and have even asked my IGS (Internal Guidance System) what the cause of my symptoms are?  IGS keeps telling me that the cause of my symptoms is fear.  I’d sit with that information and then would invariably end up going down a rabbit hole via Google searching symptoms and thus “cures”.  This is what I mean by keeping distracted.

While reading my friend Katelyn Mariah’s blog post yesterday I as able to hear the truth in what my IGS has been telling me for the past several weeks.  In her blog Katelyn was able to ask herself some deep questions that uncovered ways in which she was not practicing prosperity consciousness.  Katelyn’s post reached me in a way my IGS hadn’t.  Even though the topic of my friends blog post is prosperity consciousness it goes deeper than that.  Prosperity consciousness or its opposite, lack consciousness goes way beyond the pocket-book.

What my guidance, through the symptoms of my body, has been trying to tell me is just how much fear I still carry and thus lack consciousness.

This morning when I awoke I noticed all the anxiety (fear) I have been experiencing.  Now that I’m aware of where my lack consciousness is hiding out (for me its body symptoms) I can shift it.  How I accomplished that this morning was by being still.  I lay in bed for 2 1/2 hours before I felt the shift.  How I have kept myself distracted (hiding) from my fears so far is by keeping busy.  I usually get right out of bed and start my day.  I rarely have moments of stillness.  Today I was determined to be with my fears, not engaging those fears in mental warfare but through observation and non-attachment.  Here are some other ways to shift fear:

Tools To Shift Fear

  • Breathe – my first yoga teacher taught me that you can’t hold fear in the body and breathe deeply at the same time.  Try it.  You’ll like it.
  • Yoga – Fear gets trapped in the body and yoga opens the body up and release negative emotions.  A fellow yogi once expressed to me that all resistance in the body is fear.  Yup.
  • Being out in nature – Go for a walk, run, bike ride or sit by a body of water.  Nature has a way of calming the body and the mind and bringing to our awareness a peace that already exists underneath the fear.
  • Sing – Put on your favorite yoga music or straight up rock and roll.  Sing along with your favorite songs.  Using our voice in a proactive way is another tool to free oneself from fear.
  • Exercise – Any exercise helps release anxiety from the body.  Underneath the fear is peace.

All these tools I have in my tool box yet there are some days I get caught up in distraction or busyness.  As I write this I can feel the anxiety (fear) back in my body.  I’m not alarmed by this return of the fear.  I know it’s on its way out now.  This is a life long pattern that I don’t really expect to shift in one sitting.  Though, I do believe it can. . .

To learn more about Della and her services click on the link here.