How To Know It’s Time To Forgive

forgiveness While meditating on the word forgiveness, I was shown that forgiveness begins with self.

In looking up the definition of the word, two things stood out.  One of the meanings is to pardon, and another is to cease to feel resentment.  I framed it for myself this way.  I need to let myself off the hook.  This doesn’t say that I am not responsible for my actions.  It means that once I clean up my side of the street, I no longer hold myself hostage for the wrongs that I’ve done to myself or others.

From an energetic standpoint, when we hold on to unforgiveness, we bind ourselves to the person who hurt us.  When we cease to feel resentment not only do we free the other person we free ourselves as well.

How do we know we are ready to forgive?  When our pain threshold is reached.  We get tired of feeling angry or hurt all of the time and peace becomes more inviting than suffering.  Another way to be ready to forgive is to recognize that our pain is no longer working.  For example, “He done me wrong,” will often garner us sympathy from others.  For awhile we are getting something in return for our pain.  Before long though those people get tired of hearing the same ole, same ole and they distance themselves because they don’t want to listen to it anymore.  If you are really aware, you get tired of hearing it yourself.

How to forgive?

Be willing.  A mantra that I use is this.  I am willing to be willing to be willing.  Maybe that is all we can do at first is to say these words.  These words open us to GOD (Good – Orderly – Direction).  Once we allow ourselves to be directed by GUS (God – Universe – Spirit), we don’t really need to know how it will unfold.  Say the words and see what happens.  And, if you are still not ready?  Fake it ’til you make it!

Della offers intuitive readings, both online and in person.  Click here to find out more.

The Drowning

4530646it crept upon me unawares
this longing for you

i was doing so well

could see the shore
in the distance

catching me
in its wake

me under

before i knew. . .

i was drowning

so preoccupied with
thinking you

coming back

that i lost my joy

lost my self

lost my


Kisses That Taste Sweet Like Forgiveness

8848fe7c7611ad562d57b22ffc1f0692The other night I dreamed I yelled at my son.  He had left the stove on after he had cooked something and left me with the mess.  After yelling at him I hugged and kissed him.  He pulled away and said my kiss tasted like forgiveness.  I said I do forgive you.  He said no, my kiss, actually tasted sweet like forgiveness.

There is a profound message in this dream that my logical mind can’t wrap itself around.  Yet understanding pulses through my entire being.

I sense that is the point of the dream.  Forgiveness is not something that can be accomplished through the logical or intellectual mind.  Forgiveness comes from the heart and the soul and is felt deep in the body.

Della is a healer, yogi, writer, and artist.  You can find out more about her services here.

Free Yourself From Unhealthy Attachments


When I was in my twenties I met a man whom I felt deeply connected to.  He, unfortunately, did not have the same feelings for me.  My logic told me I needed to let go of the fantasy of a romantic relationship with him but I couldn’t seem to.  I became obsessed and I knew I needed help to free myself from this obsession.  I intuitively knew that traditional therapies would not help me.  I went to a psychic instead.

This wonderful woman taught me a technique called de-cording.  She used guided visualization to safely help me release the negative attachments to my obsession.  After our session I was not bothered with the fantasy of being with this man again.  It was during this process that my psychic gifts appeared.  They were buried deep within myself waiting for an opportunity to come forth.  De-cording is what awakened them.  Not everyone will have a dramatic response like I did.  You will feel lighter though and more able to get on with your life.

Each of us connects with one another on an energetic basis every time we interact.  When we smile at someone we meet on the street we energetically connect to that person.  Those connections are loving and do not affect us in a negative way.

When we are in more personal relationships those energetic connections go even deeper.  When the relationship has dissolved sometimes those connections stay intact and they start to drain us, especially when the other person becomes abusive.

These negative attachments can come in the guise of a family member who keeps taking and taking, a co-worker who keeps bothering you or even your own child.  It’s not about ending those relationships (unless that is what is in the highest good) but changing the dynamics of the relationship through the process of de-cording.

With the process of de-cording you can:

  • find relief from haunting thoughts
  • reclaim the energy that may be draining you
  • re-establish healthy energetic cords with those you are still involved with

Questions to ask yourself?

Have you ended a relationship, yet are still constantly thinking about the other person?

Has a telephone conversation with a friend left you exhausted?

Do you avoid a family member or work associate because they bring you “down”?

These are symptoms of negative energetic attachments (cords).

Something To Try:

Imagine you are in a light filled room surrounded by angels.  You are sitting in a chair.   In the chair opposite of you is the person you would like to de-cord from.  (You may want to experiment first with a relatively easy relationship.)  Begin by taking some deep breaths to fill your whole being with light.  Now imagine that there are cords coming from the other person to you.  Sometimes these cords look like rope, sometimes like weeds.  I’ve even see them look like appliance plug ins.  If you can not see the cords you may simply “know” that they are there and where they are in your body.   Invite your angels to come in to begin to dissolve the cords between you.  Imagine all the spaces where these cords once were as filled with light. 

Now image that there are cords coming from you to the person you are de-cording from.  Start calling those cords back like you would draw in a fishing line.  As the cords come back to you see them dissolve into light as well.  Double check your body for any more cords between you and your de-cording partner.  Check your back as well as your feet and the top of your head.  This is to be sure that there are no lingering negative connects between the two of you. 

What remains is the loving cord that connects all of us to one another.  So if you are de-cording from a child know that this love cord will remain intact.  Only those cords that no longer serve you will be dissolved. 

The final peace/piece of  this process is forgiveness.   Holding on to anger or resentment about the other person leaves an opening for the cords to become reattached.  Forgiveness takes time.  Personally, I have to first go through the emotions of anger before I can reach forgiveness.  Very often that anger is with myself for allowing the other person to victimize me.  Once I can forgive myself I find it easy to forgive the other person.  De-cording creates energetic space between you and the individual so you can take the time you need to reach forgiveness.

If you have any questions about this process or would like to schedule a de-cording session with Della hit the contact button at the top of this page.  Telephone sessions are available.  Feel free visit her website at