There’s a ghost in my attic
He reminds me of you
He speaks no words
yet rattles the chains that bind him so
I trapped him there
with my memories of you
The chains that bind him also
Only I can free him
and as I do
I also free me
That’s the vow I made in a past life to the man I was in relationship for the past year and a half in this life.
I made that vow a very long time ago. Long before I met him this time around. I recently went through training to be certified in hypnosis. Because I was the only student in this training we could focus on the topics that most interested me. Past Life Regression was at the top of the list.
The beautiful Madonna Kettler, my hypnosis trainer, brought me through a past life regression so I could understand the experience more fully. We went into the regression with the intention that I would gain more understanding as to why I was struggling to let this man go. Past Life Regression can help one gain insight into current unconscious patterns that can show up to sabotage our lives.
During this regression I saw that this man and I were farmers in Ireland during the Iron Age. We were twin brothers and were very close. Being twins in another life explained to me why I felt so connected to him. In our life in Ireland he died of an infection and two days later I hung myself because I could not bear to live without him. That was when I swore that we would be together again and that I would never again let him go.
In this life we broke up at the beginning of this year. We decided to stay friends but he slowly stopped taking my calls and I never heard from him again. It felt very much like a death. My grief was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I would do really well for a little while and then the grief would start all over again.
After this regression I had a sense of peace and understanding of why I felt so strongly about this man. I could finally let go. . . or so I thought. The next morning my grief was more intense than ever! I reached out to him yet again asking him if we could still be friends and he, again, did not respond. I kept hoping that his non-response was a maybe. What ever his reasons he wasn’t able to give me the closure I wanted and felt I needed to move on. I had to do this on my own.
That vow I made to not let him go has been my prison. It has kept me grieving and still longing for connection with this man. I went out into the woods and talked to some of my favorite trees and asked for help letting go. I knew i needed to break the vow I made so long ago. It was keeping us both trapped in a prison of attachment. I could not fully move forward in my life unless I did this. So, I set my intention, and asked for help in letting go from my Nature Spirit Helpers.
I didn’t magically let go with a walk in the woods. Yet, that intention did bring me to getting another regression. This final regression helped me to understand even more fully the connection with this man and gave me the tools to release him. I feel free this time.
Not everyone believes in past lives. It doesn’t really matter because healing can still occur regardless of that belief. My unconscious was holding onto a pattern that was keeping me stuck. Even if I made all of this up, my imagination is helping me to see through metaphor how to heal. That is the beauty of past life regression. It makes the unconscious conscious and once that occurs we no longer need to be trapped by our unconscious behaviors.
Having this experience helped me make sense as to why I was grieving as long as I did. It also showed me why I had been unable to move on. I am now a certified hypnotist and am looking forward to helping many others find the answers they seek. Whether that be through past life remembrance, metaphor or symbology, this technology is a great way to tap into our unconscious for health, healing, and wholeness. You can find out more here.
Mine sure has been. She has picked every single man I have dated in the past 25 years. Now these have not been bad men. They have all been beautiful. My inner child can see an awesome playmate a mile away. She is drawn to innocence, gentleness, humor and fun. Every one of these relationships was incredible in their own way. That is, until my adult showed up. That is usually the point where the relationship would dissolve and the tantrums (mine) would begin.
While talking to a friend, I was sharing my struggles with letting go of my last boyfriend. We had recently broke up and I couldn’t seem to let him go. My friend playfully pointed out that I was acting like a brat. He said this with love but what I heard was that I was acting like a child. He said you want this man and only him and it can’t be any other way. And it was absolutely true. He reminded me of what my adult wanted, a helpmate. My inner child was willing to compromise what the grownup me wanted to get back together with this man. The internal struggle would always look something like this.
“But I love him so much!”
“Yes, but he’s not for you.”
“But I know he loves me.”
“He’s not available,” says my adult self. “You want someone who will return your calls, tell you he loves you first, build a life together, step up to the plate. . .”
“But, but, but . . . ”
Through the help of this friend I was able to see how my inner child has been in charge of my romantic relationships and keeping me in pain.
Parenting Your Inner Child
Once I became aware of my pattern of behavior I imagined myself holding my inner 2-year-old in my arms. I told her that she had to let this man go. I told her I understood how much she wanted and liked this person but he was not the right man for us now. I told her I wanted her help in the future because I wasn’t always able to see like she could see. I told her, with her help, the adult me would decide how to proceed with any future romance. As I imagined holding my inner child I cried like I hadn’t cried before. I cried like a parent whose child is hurting and you’re hurting because they are. I cried cleansing tears. I cried tears of love and acceptance that things were exactly as they were meant to be.
This was my first real step in moving forward. It took awhile to get there. Acknowledging my inner child was the key.
You can find out more about Della and who she is here.