The Undiscovered Self

I wrote this post several years ago but am finding that I am having similar experiences these days.  Instead of finding undiscovered trails in the woods I am navigating uncharted territory in my life.   My business is taking new directions and I’m dating again after many months of mourning my last relationship.  I am scared but practicing fearlessness amidst all this change.  I hope you like the post.

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I was guided to go to Carpenter Nature Center for my walk today.   Once I got there I found myself on a path I had never taken before.  I hesitated at first because it was unfamiliar and I didn’t know where or how far it would take me into the woods.  Being a woman alone in the woods can be a very frightening thing.  Because of the blustery Fall day it was quite spooky yet breathtakingly beautiful at the same time.  My mind started to take me to all sorts of frightening scenarios.  I soon realized my fear had more to do with my inner demons than anything I would find in these woods on this day.  This path I was on represented the part of Self that I was afraid to face.  This path was my Powerful Self, my Brilliant Self, my Talented Self, my Unlimited Self.

All these years of walking the paths of Carpenter Nature Center I had never even seen the one I walked today.  I knew this path was not the safe, familiar version of what I was used to.  I wanted to turn around several times and go back to what was known but I didn’t.  I kept forging ahead.  I knew that continuing on the path of the unknown would free me from my fearimage-11 of being Who I Really Am.

When I finally came to an area that I recognized I knew I had faced a part of my self that I have hidden from all my life.  I walked to the river and I built these cairns to represent my hopes and dreams for the future.

I walked out of those woods a new woman. I faced my fears.  I faced my Self.  I.  Am.

Della uses hypnotherapy, intuition and hands on healing to help people find their lost parts of self.  You can find out more about her here.

Finding Love The Old Fashioned Way

This post showed up in my Facebook memories today. I wrote this 1 year ago about how I met my boyfriend. It made me cry as this relationship is now over. I am grateful that I had such a beautiful experience yet I keep painfully struggling with the loss of this love.

I know that true love can never be lost. That the grief I am feeling isn’t from the loss of love but from the loss of Self. The pain is from the story I keep writing about this breakup. This story includes, abandonment, rejection, unavailability, and obsession. This story was written long before I even met this man. Every day I am looking at my pain and seeing my story. Every day I have to choose love time and time again. Love of him, love of the experience but mostly love of Self. The gift here is that I am seeing patterns that have long been part of all of my relationships with men and even some women. This has been hard. I know I have the courage to see it through even on the days where I seem to fail myself. I no longer want to take this story into any future relationships. My true love is me.

Della McGee

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I met him in a coffee shop last summer.  I wasn’t looking for romance.  I was looking for free internet.  I asked to sit down beside him because the spot was in the sun.  The fact that he was male didn’t even register.   He said yes I could sit and didn’t he see me at the library yesterday?  Yes, that’s right.  I did see you at the library.  I didn’t tell him that I thought he was a bit stalkerish when I saw him there because of the way he kept staring at me.  I had ignored him at the library.

We chatted for an hour in the coffee shop.  As I got up to leave I handed him my business card.  I asked him to go to my website and if what I did for a living didn’t scare him off he should give me a call.  He called…

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