How To Know It’s Time To Forgive

forgiveness While meditating on the word forgiveness, I was shown that forgiveness begins with self.

In looking up the definition of the word, two things stood out.  One of the meanings is to pardon, and another is to cease to feel resentment.  I framed it for myself this way.  I need to let myself off the hook.  This doesn’t say that I am not responsible for my actions.  It means that once I clean up my side of the street, I no longer hold myself hostage for the wrongs that I’ve done to myself or others.

From an energetic standpoint, when we hold on to unforgiveness, we bind ourselves to the person who hurt us.  When we cease to feel resentment not only do we free the other person we free ourselves as well.

How do we know we are ready to forgive?  When our pain threshold is reached.  We get tired of feeling angry or hurt all of the time and peace becomes more inviting than suffering.  Another way to be ready to forgive is to recognize that our pain is no longer working.  For example, “He done me wrong,” will often garner us sympathy from others.  For awhile we are getting something in return for our pain.  Before long though those people get tired of hearing the same ole, same ole and they distance themselves because they don’t want to listen to it anymore.  If you are really aware, you get tired of hearing it yourself.

How to forgive?

Be willing.  A mantra that I use is this.  I am willing to be willing to be willing.  Maybe that is all we can do at first is to say these words.  These words open us to GOD (Good – Orderly – Direction).  Once we allow ourselves to be directed by GUS (God – Universe – Spirit), we don’t really need to know how it will unfold.  Say the words and see what happens.  And, if you are still not ready?  Fake it ’til you make it!

Della offers intuitive readings, both online and in person.  Click here to find out more.

Why You May Be Gaining Weight

bigstock-Overweight-Woman-Getting-Dress-152920883-710x250Have you gained weight like I have over the last few months?  Are you doing everything right as far as diet and exercise but the weight won’t budge?  During an Intuitive Reading with a client recently I was gifted with the reason why so many of us have gained weight lately.

Those of us who are empaths (energetically sensitive) are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, ungrounded, scattered and downright crazy at times.  We live in challenging age which makes us want to disconnect from the chaos by energetically leaving our body.  As a result of this disconnect, our bodies are putting on extra pounds to try and keep us in them.  We are not being betrayed by our bodies we are being helped in a very primal way.  You are a physical being and an energetic one as well.  The physical is the home for the energetic.  The physical body speaks to us through pain and pleasure and weight loss and weight gain.

I believe that staying present in the body can bring us back into balance.   Here are some suggestions on how to accomplish this:

  • an intentional movement like yoga or dance
  • being in nature.  Put your bare feet on the Earth and your back up against a tree
  • playing with children and animals
  • apply root lock.  Squeeze the sphincter muscle, sex organs, and lower abdominals and hold as up to 30 sec.  Release and repeat until you feel back in your body.  (do not apply root lock if pregnant or menstruating)
  • visualize roots growing from the bottoms of your feet and plunging into the Earth and grounding you there.
  • carry your favorite stones in your pockets.  Hematite, tiger’s eye, apache tear, etc. are all excellent stones to help you ground.
  • place a few drops of essential oil on the bottom of your feet.  Clary sage, cypress, lavender are just a couple you can try.

Let me know if you have been experiencing this too.  It helps to know that we are not alone.  Find out more about me here.

Selfie #1

 

Selfie #1 - 4:28:18
Watercolor by Della

I have been working on self-love lately, and I came upon this idea to paint how I felt about me.  The first thing I placed on the paper was a big heart.  From there I just let my creative spirit guide me.

I feel as if the heart is a seed and that I have planted myself on rocky soil.  I am firmly planted though.  Even I can see that.  My puny arms are raised in the air letting the light in as much as I am able to.

I started exploring this because I have a life long habit of falling for unavailable men (rocky soil).  It has been two years since my last relationship, and I am getting closer to wanting to go down that road again.  I feel the inner work is necessary before I proceed any further.  My thin arms and legs tell me I am not yet strong in this self-love I am developing.  But the light that surrounds me gives me courage to continue the journey.

I’d like to create a painting once a month to see how I am progressing over time.  I’ll share those paintings with you here.

To find out more about Della click here.

What We See In The Mirror

Archer Pose
Photo Credit:  Linda S. Reed

If you are anything like me when you look in the mirror you don’t take in the whole image.  It’s hard to do, actually.  The eyes tend to gravitate to what we perceive as flaws instead of seeing the beauty that is undoubtedly there.

A friend of mine recently took some photos of me out in nature.  For the first time in a very long time, I could see the whole me.  I could see the strength and power in my body.

This photo shows that I am a woman with curves.  My programming (media, advertising, etc.) says that people with this many curves are not attractive.  I’ve recently begun a practice of self-love and it is helping me, along with this photo, to be more comfortable in my body, more accepting.

I like that I am beginning to inhabit my skin instead of disparaging it.  Drawing on the strength that years of yoga and meditation have built I can be a light that shines through the social constructs of what “they” say beauty is.  I am creating a new program of self-love and self-care that is dissolving the old messages of “not good enough”.  This is my mission and I choose to accept it.  Would you care to join me?

Read more about Della’s mission here.

I am Woman

I wrote this a few years ago. . .

Yogagirl2's Blog

Scan 17I stand
on my feet
grounded

centered
in my be-ing

Gathering Strength
and Breath
and Life
in my
breast

Heart beating
with wild
abandon

Never forsaking
myself
for another

Never forgetting
I am Woman

About this painting:  I am currently using acrylics on canvas to explore the chakra system through my painting.  This painting reflects our first chakra.  I’ve entitled it “standing in her power”.  Please email me at della@innerpeacemovementstudio.com if you are interested in purchasing the original painting for yourself.  To find out more about my services please visit me here.

View original post

Love Is Light Made Manifest

astronomy-wallpaper-5As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post I’ve recently connected with a new guide named Mother who helms from the Pleiades.  She recently shared with me another message and I thought I’d share with you.

All is well even if it doesn’t appear so.  Be not deceived by the chaos on Earth.  It has always been this way. Your species are becoming more sensitive to the harshness of this chaos as you evolve.  This makes you more “aware” of the energies that surround you than ever before.  It is important to connect to Earth energy as it has a grounding effect on you.  It will keep you from becoming overwhelmed by these fast-moving energy shifts.

.

It is easy to become anxious with all the fear that you are exposed to daily.  Your media contributes to this anxiety.  We are not saying to be uninformed yet are asking you to be discerning with how much you subject yourself too.  The fear that is surrounding you can only be diminished through your continued activation of light.  How you do this is through heart centered acceptance of yourself and others.

.

Judgement is literally destroying your species.  The more you focus on self-love and acceptance the more you can hold space for Peace on Earth.  Remember that Peace is stronger than fear.  You will prevail.  Do not give up on yourselves.  The darkness you are experiencing is all part of the journey towards enlightenment.

.

The true meaning of enlightenment is this:  That which has been hidden is emerging into the light.  Do not be afraid of the dark.  It is fear that threatens you and not darkness.  Darkness is merely an absence of light.  Love is light made manifest.

To find out more about Della and her services connect with her here.  She is currently offering 1/2 hour hands on healing sessions for donation through the end of the year.

 

No More Pretend Boyfriends

631fe42ecdb0379876b382e6af736a3cI’m swearing off pretend boyfriends.  What’s a pretend boyfriend?  He’s the one you are having a relationship with in your head but not in real life.

This all started when I was pretty young and just getting interested in boys.  I was pretty shy then and could barely put two sentences together let alone talk to the male of the species.  I would often daydream about being with one of them, just like any young girl, but my daydreaming was at a whole other level.  I created entire stories around these boys.  As I grew into an adult this didn’t stop and instead became a life long pattern on my part.

I recently had a break up from my last relationship and the letting go process has been long and painful.  I would do well for a while and feel as if I had moved through the worst and then I would reach out to him.  I did this several times over the past three months with no response on his part.  This non-response, instead of helping me move on, just made me feel like a crazy woman for reaching out in the first place.  The logical part of me knew that this was The Universe (and him) telling me that this relationship was dead in the water.  The other part of me, the part that couldn’t let go, just ended up spiraling down into a needy, emotional mess.

Recently, I asked myself, what it would mean to let him go.  The answer:  I was afraid of being alone.  If he took up space in my head then I wasn’t really alone.  I would spend energy thinking he just needs time.  Or, that it doesn’t make sense that he could just stop loving me.  He just needs to figure things out.  You see, I’d rather have a man in my head than not have one in my bed.  That was a hard truth for this girl to swallow.  It really, really sucked to realize this about myself.

This actually came at quite a surprise.  I’ve never experienced aloneness in my life.  At least not until now.  I never allowed myself.  I have a strong connection to my spirit self.  I talk to guides, angels, family who’ve passed on, etc. so am never really alone.  I didn’t realize until that moment that being alone and feeling alone are two separate things.  I am good at spending time alone.  In fact, I crave it, but I have distracted myself with pretend boyfriends to avoid feeling it.

I have decided to face my fears around this issue.  The first step is to let this former relationship go for realz.  No more fantasies about him reaching out to me, coming to his senses, realizing what he’d lost . . . no more reaching out to him.

Step two is to embrace being alone.  I mean to do those things that I’m afraid to do alone.  For example, yesterday, I went to the MN Irish Fair by myself.  I do not like crowds of people so this was a big deal for me.  Between figuring out how to get there, how much it cost, what to do once I got there all took a Herculean inner strength on my part.  I felt this act was my declaration of independence from my old way of being.  And, I loved the fair!  I plan on going on more solo adventures in the near future.

Step Three:  take the rest of this year off from men.  This means no fantasy relationships and no dating either.  I want to give myself time to really integrate not being in a relationship before I put myself out there again.  You see, I’ve been single a lot but I’ve never not had a pretend boyfriend during those spaces in between my relationships.

Step four is to really be alone with myself.  I can distract myself for hours, reading fiction or browsing on the internet or watching movies.  I will be limiting those things from my daily life.  I want to spend more time writing, walking in nature, practicing yoga and meditation.  Even though I already do those things I am often not really present while I am.  I can honestly say this scares me.  Who wants to feel aloneness, right?  Me.  That’s who.  I want to kick this fears ass!

The goal of this is to accept that I am enough on my own and to never lose myself in a relationship again.  In my unconscious fear of feeling alone, when a relationship began to fail, I would change.  I would desperately become someone else to try to save the relationship.  I would abandon myself to stay with them.  This new way of being is a supreme act of self-love.  I know that I am up to the task, yet I am afraid.  I am afraid that I will never have that great love.  I am not there yet but I know this great love that I long for is me.

Find out more about Della here.

Swallowing Rocks – A Body Love Tale

The Well_Fotor_Fotor
As I lay on the massage table I started to drift.  Images began to float in my mind.  I knew I was tapping into something profound so I simply followed where the images led.  I saw myself walking towards a pond.  I was dressed in clothing from the 1700’s.  There were people gathered round.  This was the time of the witch hunts and they had come to witness my death.   I had been made to swallow rock after rock until I could barely move.

I was forced to walk into the pond where I quickly sank to the bottom and drowned.  From my observers position I could tell that when I died my spirit did not leave my body.  I was stuck there surrounded by water weighted down for eternity.

I knew that I could aid this me that was trapped in that pond so I went in to help her.  I told her to look at her body as it decayed and all that was left were bones.  When she looked down at herself she could see that there was no more flesh to hold the rocks in place and she was able to be free.  She went off to where ever it is that spirits go when they die.

When I got off the massage table I felt lighter.  I was curious about what I had seen so when I got home I started researching the Burning Times to see if witches were killed by being forced to swallow rocks and then drowned.  I couldn’t find any evidence of that particular method of elimination so am not sure if was a past life of mine or not.

I decided to look at the images as if I were interpreting a dream. I started with the metaphor of swallowing rocks.  All of my life I have had extreme self-loathing around my belly.  It is not an ugly belly.  In fact it is rather a charming belly.  Yet, I have always been ashamed of its shape and size.  It has never made any logical sense to me as to why I would feel that way.  I never really got teased about my body when I was younger.  At least, not any more than anyone else has.  And, I’ve always been blessed by the men in my life adoring my body.  So where does that self loathing come from?  I do not know . . . Yet, this metaphor of swallowing rocks resonated with the answer.

I have always felt heavy even at my lightest weight.  I am actually 20 pounds heavier than I was 2 years ago and I am more comfortable in my body now then I was then.  But the breaking down of my self into body parts has always been ever present.  You may be familiar with looking in the mirror and only seeing your ass, or your thighs, or like me, your belly.  I could never see the whole me.

The rocks in this metaphor represent something (beliefs?) that hold me down.  The rocks keep me from being fully in my power.  A woman’s belly is her seat of power.  We create life within our bellies.  When we disown our bellies we deny our Creator Self.  Water in dream symbology is often interpreted as emotions.  Here I am weighted down and drowning in emotions, not able to free my spirit, not able to create, or be free to express my witchy self.  My unconscious was believing all of this and it was seeping through into my conscious state.  It would rear its ugly head at the best of times in my life.  When ever I am feeling great I would get distracted with these body issues.  There would be this buzzing that I would hear that would tell me my belly was fat or unattractive.

This memory shifted the feeling of heaviness that I have carried for my entire life.  I feel lighter now.  I still wish my belly were flatter but it doesn’t seem so distorted as it once did.  When I look in the mirror I see my whole self rather than parts.  I see. . .  Me.

I sense this memory was able to come to the surface because of all the past life regression work I have been doing with myself and others.  The massage brought me into a trance state where my unconscious could reveal itself.  If you would like to do some past life exploration with my help you can find out how here.

Claiming Your Inner Child For Health, Happiness & Wholeness

7a43b6786034306c6d3ce3272c610803Have you claimed your Inner Child yet?  I for one, have dabbled here and there and promptly forgotten her when all was said and done.  The thing about the inner child is she will NOT be ignored!  The more our inner children are forgotten about the more they tend to act out.  I have recently reconnected with my inner child and she was a confused, frightened and lonely little girl.  She not only felt abandoned and alone she felt angry about it too.

I believe my Inner Child is at the root of my addictions and tendencies towards co-dependency.  Since she does not have the skill set to soothe herself she turns to sugar, carbs, obsessive behaviors and distraction.  This creates an imbalance in my system and disharmony in my life.  On the one hand, my Wise Self knows what actions she needs to take to create peace in my world. But, if I am not taking into account the needs of my inner child, I end up battling between my Wise Self and my Child Self.  This creates a cycle low self-esteem and shame.

They key to wholeness is claiming our Inner Child.

All my life I have wanted a man to claim me.  Time and time again I have picked unavailable men to be in relationship with.  When these relationships failed I became lost and heartbroken.   This work has shown me that if I am unwilling to claim myself then no one else can either.

Where to begin?

It begins with acknowledgement.  Once my inner child is acknowledged and heard she stops acting out and I have the power to take right action in my life again.  Yet, it takes more than that initial recognition.  It takes constancy.  I’ve begun to learn what my inner child’s voice sounds like.  When my behavior feels childish I can stop myself and ask what she needs.  When I ask my self, “Where did that come from?”  It is often my inner child trying to get her needs met in a way my adult never would.   It is, most often, that she needs to be heard.

The final piece of the puzzle is integration.  This takes time.  Before your inner child can be integrated there needs to be a relationship built between the parent (your adult self) and the inner child.  You will know when you’ve become integrated when you begin to feel more grounded, whole and complete.

Let’s say hi to our inner child.

Close your eyes for a moment and take a few deep breaths.  Go within your heart space or your belly and ask for your child to show themself.  What do they look like?  What emotions are they expressing?  Your child may be scared or angry.  Your child may be happy or sad.  What ever the case let the adult you embrace the child you.  Take a few more deep breaths and hold each other.  Talk to your child and let them know you love them.  Let them know that you are there to take care of them.  It may take awhile for your child to trust you.  This is normal.  Now say good-bye for now and come back to this present moment.  How did that feel?  Now do this again the next day, and the next, and . . . until you feel your child and you as one.

Find out about Della’s services here.

Is Your Inner Child In Charge of Your Relationship?

Claim Your Inner Child Workshop

Is Your Inner Child In Charge of Your Relationship?

babycryingMine sure has been.  She has picked every single man I have dated in the past 25 years.  Now these have not been bad men.  They have all been beautiful.  My inner child can see an awesome playmate a mile away.  She is drawn to innocence, gentleness, humor and fun.  Every one of these relationships was incredible in their own way.  That is, until my adult showed up.  That is usually the point where the relationship would dissolve and the tantrums (mine) would begin.

While talking to a friend, I was sharing my struggles with letting go of my last  boyfriend.  We had recently broke up and I couldn’t seem to let him go.  My friend playfully pointed out that I was acting like a brat.  He said this with love but what I heard was that I was acting like a child.  He said you want this man and only him and it can’t be any other way.  And it was absolutely true.  He reminded me of what my adult wanted, a helpmate.  My inner child was willing to compromise what the grownup me wanted to get back together with this man.  The internal struggle would always look something like this.

“But I love him so much!”

“Yes, but he’s not for you.”

“But I know he loves me.”

“He’s not available,” says my adult self.  “You want someone who will return your calls, tell you he loves you first, build a life together, step up to the plate. . .”

“But, but, but . . . ”

Through the help of this friend I was able to see how my inner child has been in charge of my romantic relationships and keeping me in pain.

Parenting Your Inner Child

Once I became aware of my pattern of behavior I imagined myself holding my inner 2-year-old in my arms.  I told her that she had to let this man go.  I told her I understood how much she wanted and liked this person but he was not the right man for us now.  I told her I wanted her help in the future because I wasn’t always able to see like she could see.  I told her, with her help, the adult me would decide how to proceed with any future romance.  As I imagined holding my inner child I cried like I hadn’t cried before.  I cried like a parent whose child is hurting and you’re hurting because they are.  I cried cleansing tears.  I cried tears of love and acceptance that things were exactly as they were meant to be.

This was my first real step in moving forward.  It took awhile to get there.  Acknowledging my inner child was the key.

You can find out more about Della and who she is here.

Claim Your Inner Child Workshop