Surrender

I have been having to surrender a lot lately. My partner and I are remodeling one of the rooms in our house. By that I mean he is doing most of the labor. To work on this room, everything within it had to be moved to other parts of the house. As a result, our house is in chaos. I do NOT do well with chaos in my living space. I need order and structure for my mental health. Because that is not an option right now, I have had to practice surrender daily.

The word contains within it the word render. To render means to melt away. To stay peaceful I have to melt away the thoughts that are causing me anxiety. I do this through the long, deep breath.

The opposite of surrender is resistance. In yoga, resistance shows up as tightness in the body. Tightness in the body begins in the mind. When resistance shows up I have to ask myself, what am I fighting in my life that is keeping me from being my best self? What internal battles am I waging right now? Any battle I may be fighting is usually because I am resisting accepting my current situation.

When I feel the anxiety begin to build within me, I practice surrender—a melting away of what I am resisting. I breathe, go for walk or practice yoga. How do you surrender?


Are you interested in writing a guest post on addiction & recovery? You can email me at della@innerpeacemovementstudio.com for more details.


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Perfectionism

Are you a perfectionist? How has that been working out for you? I ask this because I know that my need for perfection has caused me much heartache in the past. According to Dictionary.com, the word means a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less. In my case, when I am actively pursuing perfectionism, I am rejecting myself. Perfectionism is just one more characteristic of Not Good Enough Syndrome.

This is from the Online Etymology Dictionary.

perfectionist (n.)

1650s, from perfection + -ist. Originally theological, “one who believes moral perfection may be attained in earthly existence, one who believes a sinless life is obtainable.”

In both Hebrew and Greek, sin is an archery term meaning to miss the mark. We all miss the mark from time to time. The point is that we continue to pick up the bow and take aim. To become good at archery, you need to practice. The A.A. Big Book tells us that our recovery journey is progress and not perfection. Here is a quote from page 60.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Where are you today in your recovery journey? Are you able to pick up the bow and take aim? Are you ready to drop the need for perfectionism when you do?


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Stop Apologizing

If you are familiar with The Twelve Steps, you may think this is a radical statement. In Step Four, we make a fearless and moral inventory of ourselves.

In Step Five, we admit to a Higher Power the exact nature of our wrongs.

In Step Eight, we make a list of all those we have harmed and do our best to make amends to those we may have injured along the way.

In most cases, these are all powerful ways to begin our recovery journey.

If you are like me and have suffered from Not Good Enough Syndrome, these steps can lead us down a path of shame.

What do I mean when I say stop apologizing?

Stop apologizing for who you are. You are a human being who sometimes burns dinner. You may be someone who forgets to get the milk at the store. Some days you may need rest instead of doing the dishes. You, are human.

You are perfect in your imperfection.

Continue to take inventory and make amends when you have hurt another. Do not make yourself wrong for being human.

Are you interested in a really cool yoga mat with my original artwork or photography on it. You can look at them here.

To learn more about me and zoom yoga classes, intuitive readings and spiritual workshops click here.

Impermanence or This Too Shall Pass

I am reading a book by author Kevin Griffin entitled Buddhism & The Twelve Steps. This book is a daily reflection with thoughts on dharma and recovery. I was looking for something outside the box of the traditional 12 steps that I learned in A.A. and came across this gem.

The February 9th reading is about impermanence. I have been struggling with some unresolved health issues lately, and I have been afraid. When I am in fear, I binge eat. As I reflected on this behavior, I was reminded through this reading that the one thing I can count on is change, even my behaviors. When I look at change in this light, it takes the shame out of my binge eating. I know this behavior is something I want to shift in my life, and I am taking action towards that goal. I trust that I can and will change because change is inevitable. This, in turn, gives me hope.

To learn more about me and zoom yoga classes, intuitive readings and spiritual workshops click here.

Are you interested in a really cool yoga mat with my original artwork or photography on it. You can look at them here.

Acceptance

“We admitted and accepted that we had a problem that we could not resolve by ourselves – and repeated attempts to resolve it only made it worse.”

The Twelve Steps For Everyone

Over 30 years ago, I stepped into my first A.A. meeting. I was frightened and felt very much alone. I knew I needed help. I had finally accepted that my drinking was a problem.

For the first two years of my sobriety, I went to 5 to 7 meetings a week. The community I found there helped me stay sober. The 12 steps helped me discover why I drank.

I was staying sober but I wasn’t getting mentally well or emotionally happy. 15 years ago I found Kundalini Yoga. This ancient yogic technology works on so much more than the physical body. It had such a profound impact on my life that I became a Kundalini Yoga teacher a year after my first class.

Recently I began to have issues with unconscious eating, binge eating, and negative body image. I once again had to surrender and ask for help.

My Inner Voice reminded me that Kundalini Yoga has a yogic solution for almost every problem. I got back on my mat in a more intentional way. I immediately found relief by practicing a meditation to heal addictions! I knew that people out there could benefit from this technology, so I created a weekly class for addiction recovery.

But practicing yoga wasn’t enough. I knew that what had helped me in the past was community. So I invited the participants to share their experience, strength, and hope after class. And they do!

We start each class with a kriya (set of yogic exercises), followed by a meditation for addictions. I then give a “recovery talk,” after the talk, we hold space for each other to share whatever is on their minds that day. This class has been instrumental in keeping me committed to recovery.

To learn more about me and zoom yoga classes, intuitive readings and spiritual workshops click here.

Are you interested in a really cool yoga mat with my original artwork or photography on it. You can look at them here.