Word of The Day: Integration

o-INFINITY-facebookWord of The Day:  Integration

Definition – combine (one thing) with another so that they become a whole.

When I tuned into this word I got an image of an infinity symbol.  We often see ourselves as damaged goods and not as infinite beings.  Our wounds do not make us less than.  If we can integrate our wounds instead of hiding in shame because of them we can begin to see ourselves as whole.

I have been feeling shame because I still grieve the loss of my last relationship.   The shame has me feeling less than whole.  My Guides are telling me that love is never wrong.  They have been inviting me to see myself as whole instead of full of holes.  My intention today is to see wholeness in my sadness.  When I can integrate all parts of me I become whole.  I am Infinite.

Find out more about Della and her services here.

Trust And The Inner Child

Sad-Child“Do you trust yourself,” my friend asked?  “No” I replied.

This conversation was several weeks ago and I don’t even remember what the context of the conversation was. I do know the question had a profound impact on me.

After that conversation I had to ask myself why?  Why didn’t I trust myself?  The answer lay with the child within.  She didn’t trust the adult to take care of her.  Why would she.  I had abandoned her.  I had ignored her voice.  It wasn’t until recently that I had even acknowledged her.

The evidence of my life shows me that I have always been provided for yet the fear of not being so persisted.  Fast forward weeks later and I find that the fear I have been living with my whole life has lessened.  I still feel fear but I can go within now and know that everything will be all right.

How did She come to trust me?  I had to consistently be there for her.  Whenever fear would show up I would go within and imagine myself holding her.  I had to show her time and time again that I would be there for her no matter what.  Now, when something happens in my world I can feel that everything is o.k.  It’s a different experience than I’ve had before.  I feel safe.  I feel loved.  I feel supported.  She feels heard.  I am no longer in conflict with my inner child needs and my outer adult expression.  We feel. . . One.

If you are interested in learning more about the inner child and how to become one with her check out my website.

This Too Shall Pass

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I first heard this phrase over 25 years ago in an A.A. meeting.  Since then I have used it many times to remind myself that everything that I may be troubled by is only temporary.

I recently experienced a couple of very dark days.  So dark I had a hard time getting out of bed.  So dark I imagined leaving this world all together.  What kept me going was the knowing that this too shall pass.  I’ve had many opportunities over the years to know that this is true.  Each dark night I’ve traveled through has always lead to a sunrise.

I know enough now to sit back and observe my thoughts instead of taking action on them.  Thoughts are information and my thoughts this time around where showing me how my beliefs about myself were taking root and causing pain.  My external circumstances where reminding me that I was placing my value in my work, my finances, my relationships and my looks.  When these things appeared to fail at the same time I knew that opportunity disguised as pain was afoot.

This doesn’t mean that I wasn’t terrified, hurting, confused and angry.  What it does mean is that I was able to see my thoughts as a movie.  I was emotionally involved in the movie but I knew it was just a movie and that it would eventually come to its conclusion.  Why did I stay in the theater for the whole show?  Because I knew if I didn’t I could miss something important and I would have to come back and see it again.

What I came away with once the sun began to shine again is this:  I decide my value, not my job, my relationships, my looks or how much money I have or don’t.  I am valuable because I exist.  That’s it.  There is no other reason than that.  I am glad I exist.  I am glad you do to.

Please visit my website to learn more about me.

How Self-Pleasure Creates Intimacy

birth-of-aphrodite1In a recent visit to my massage therapist she commented on how I was disconnected from my body.  Lately, I have been in the throes of change both internally (peri-menopause) and externally.  All these changes had caused a disconnection from my body and I had taken up residence in my head.  She suggested self-pleasuring to get me back in touch with myself  Yes, it’s exactly what you think.  Masturbation.

Before peri-menopause you would never have had to suggest masturbation to me.  I had a very high sex drive.  At one point in my life I was concerned with how distracted I was by my desire for sexual release.  Over the past couple years as my hormones have changed so has my sex drive.  What once was a daily ritual became once a week and then too much of a bother at all.

I took up my therapists advice and prescribed myself a daily orgasm.  What started out as a chore became a sensual pleasure.  I began to feel differently in my body.  I am feeling sexy and secure in my skin.  For those of you who know me this is not my norm.  I decided to take this self-pleasure to another level.

Once I connected to the feeling of sensuality and pleasure in my body I incorporated this energy into how I ate and walked and the clothes that I choose to wear.  I decided that I needed to connect more deeply with the Divine Feminine and began using divination tools that directly access the Divine Goddess energies.  Each Goddess from our mythologies carries her own unique characteristics.  She is receptive, creative and nurturing.  She embodies pleasure.  I am using these tools to connect more deeply with the aspects of Her.

Moving my body has become a pleasure as well.  Walking, dancing and yoga have become something more than exercise.  I am delighting in the pure magnificence of my human form.  One morning I slathered myself with coconut oil and then stood under a hot shower and massaged all the tight spots and said thank you for my health and well-being.

Cooking a meal has taken on a whole new meaning.  When I create something in the kitchen I have imagined myself mixing up a sacred potion that I then get to consume with pleasure.

Intimacy means a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.  Connecting with pleasure has made me feel more whole and more present in my life.  That is what intimacy is – being fully present for another.  In this case the other is me.
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I encourage you to invite more pleasure into your life.  It does not have to look like my way.  It can be as simple as playing with your children on the floor, eating a decadent piece of chocolate or dressing up for a night on the town or a night in the bedroom with your lover.  How ever you express and experience pleasure will connect you with yourself more intimately.  Enjoy!
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Della is a healer, psychic, writer, artist and yogi.  You can find out more about her services here.

How Brokenness Is Beautiful

kintsugi+heartKintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with gold or silver dust.  “As a philosophy it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, and not something to disguise.”  In our society we see something broken as unwanted or unlovable.  To me, the broken bits are the most interesting.

When we are broken we become unmade from the structures that formed us.  If those structures still worked we wouldn’t need to be broken open in the first place.  Pain and heartbreak are the gold and glue that creates something even more beautiful than what came before.

In the shattered heart lay our opportunities.  In our brokenness lay our possibilities.  In the beginning we aren’t often able to see this pure potentiality through the pain.  We need time and space and permission.  We need permission to live in the pain.  We humans tend to want to bypass the pain.  Let’s hurry up and move on.  In my experience, unless I am present with the pain there is no moving on.  I may think I have but the unresolved stuff will sneak up in the least likely moments and make itself known.

I have recently been through another journey of brokenness and have refashioned something extraordinary out of that pain.  At the time, I did not see how I could.  I’ve been through enough of these dark nights to know that the light always comes.  I didn’t know how but I did know that it would . . . and it did.

I invite you to see the beautiful in the broken bits of yourself.  Therein lies your magnificence.

Della is a healer, artist, writer, psychic and yogi.  Please visit her website here.

K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Soul

tumblr_me207r1Pdn1qmm3xxo1_500I once had a friend tell me that I was addicted to transformation.  That was many years ago yet that statement has never left me.  What he meant by those words is that I am so often moving on to the next issue that needs healed, processing some emotional angst or reading the next self-help book on the market that I am rarely being in the moment and integrating what I’ve already learned.

I have a stack of books on my table that I want to read yet I can’t seem to crack them open.  I am over saturated with tools and techniques that will help me heal my finances, my self-esteem, my diet, etc.  To be honest I can’t seem to absorb on more tool, one more affirmation, one more suggestion on how to change my life.

It is becoming clear to me that what my friend said is still true.  In keeping myself busy with transforming I never accept that I am already whole and complete.  I never get to fully integrate the healing that has already occurred.  I haven’t celebrated who I have become because of all the work I am still doing.

My Guidance has been gently slowing me down and encouraging me to keep things simple.  What does that mean?  Be in the now.  As I was washing my dishes this morning I noticed I was holding my breath.  When I hold my breath I am either thinking about the past or the future.  I am not living in the now.

For me, keeping it simple means to breathe and be in the present moment.  That is more than enough. . .

Della is a soul artist, healer and a yogi.  You can find out more about her services here.