Are you living in a fishbowl? Often the walls we have erected around us may feel safe, but there is no room for expansion. When the walls are glass, it is even harder to recognize how limited we have become. We can see out, and others can see in so we think we are out there in the world, but love cannot touch us on either side of the glass.
This morning I was contemplating my life purpose. Wondering what it is all for and why am I here. When I posed the question to Guidance this morning they said this. Be the best human you can be.
Yes, but what does that mean, asked I? We can tell you what it doesn’t mean. You have been programmed to believe that your life purpose has to be some grand expression of self. It doesn’t. There was one Mother Theresa, one Louise Hay, one Buddha, one Jesus and only one You. All of these notable people have one thing in common. They were the best humans they could possibly be. That intention is going to express itself differently for each and every one of you. Sometimes it will show itself and the human will become well-known, like Wayne Dyer. Other times that expression will be quieter and only a few will ever see. When you think in this way your life purpose becomes clear. We understand your longing for more meaning in your life. That is the soul calling your best self to the surface. Once you can get past the idea that it has to look a certain way you will find peace.
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“Are you carrying yourself in a sacred way,” Grandmother spirit guide asked?
This is the question I reflect on every morning lately. It reminds me to take a deep breath, straightened my spine and say. . . Yes.
Yes, to life. Yes, to love. Yes, to me.
It also reminds me to love myself in a way I am unfamiliar with. To carry me in a sacred way means unconditional love of self. That means to love my body. To love my mind. To love my spirit. Accepting myself exactly as I am is what carrying myself in a sacred way means to me. What does it mean to you?
“This moment is where God dwells.”
To say I have struggled with symptoms of menopause over the past 2-1/2 years is an understatement. I have even called one friend in tears and used the word suffering. I am not a sufferer by nature so this was a big deal for me to admit how hard of a time I was having.
I had experienced peri-menopause for the past 10 years so I wasn’t surprised when the symptoms of menopause hit one cold January day with warm flushes that started slowly, an increasing warmth as it traveled up my body. I had a sense of excitement as I was proud to begin my journey into cronehood. I have always resonated with the image of Crone. Not the old, dried up version but the empowered, magical Crone. A wise woman who knows herself.
It was easy for me to be in that space as it was January and warmth in January is a good thing. As the weeks and months wore on my symptoms increased. I no longer felt a sense of pride in becoming a crone I just wanted the ordeal to be over. When menopause started that January day I thought this would be a few months journey, maybe a year of symptoms and then my periods would stop and I would have ascended into my Wise Self into Crone Woman. Nope.
I’m still struggling, crying, cursing and gnashing my teeth that my periods haven’t stopped yet. I don’t think I would mind so much if they were on their once regular 28 day cycle. Now my periods can be days and weeks over due. That too would be alright but that often means that PMS will hang on until I bleed. I have been known to beg my body to bleed so the PMS would end.
I know this seems dramatic and it is. They don’t call it The Change for nothin’! In the past 2-1/2 years I’ve ended a long term romantic relationship and found a new love. I’ve moved, changed jobs, let go of friendships that were no longer working and found my voice. I am discovering a new me by letting go of that which no longer serves who I really am. I don’t let go easily. There is usually kicking and screaming and often times blood is drawn along the way.
As, once again, I await on Woman Who Bleeds to show herself the symptoms of PMS keep me company. I am at a place in my journey that when Crazy Woman arrives I surrender to myself. I go deep within and I ask for help. Being closely connected to nature that help will often show up in the form of symbolism. This time it is Snake Medicine. In the past week I have dreamed of snakes, taken a Facebook quiz where snake showed up as my animal helper and had a vision of snakes filling my body while working with a healer.
Snake is a the perfect helper for women going through The Change. Snakes shed their skin and we as women shed our old selves during this time in our lives. This shedding prepares us for our wisdom days so that we can show up as leaders, healers and role models for our families, friends, and communities. During my vision I knew I was to find a piece of jewelry to wear that was to remind me of my sacred journey. Menopause is a sacred journey and thinking of it as such seems to ease my PMS symptoms. The snake vision gave me a sense of peace that I was doing something of importance and a knowing that this journey isn’t in vain.
While attending the Minnesota Renaissance Festival I found my ring. I’ve been wearing my snake ring every day since I found her. Snake helps me to stay strong when Crazy Woman is present. I know this woman intimately. I no longer see her as a destroyer but as a builder. I need her help to find the strength within me to be my wise self. She does not suffer fools, has very little patience and is not apologetic. She fights fiercely on my behalf. She has always been there since I became Woman Who Bleeds. I have tried to hide her all these years. She will no longer be pushed down under the programming of female passivity. I welcome her as she is my teacher and my guide until I fully become Crone Woman.Della is a healer, teacher, artist and writer. You can find out more about her here.
~Ralph Blum, The Book of Runes~
It is easy to retreat from darkness. I feel It is the fear of the unknown that really frightens us. I know this from my ability to skedaddle at a moments notice when darkness comes to call. The real challenge in any situation is to hold still and allow the darkness to unfold around you. We tend to think that the darkness will consume us. That is not true. If we could see the brightness of our own Being we would no longer be afraid of the dark. We would never be afraid of anything again.
I ask my Guidance how do we recognize our own light? Be still my child, you are so often running around, consumed by busyness that beingness can not be found. Beingness, light, love are all within you. Your fear keeps you from your knowing. Be still. Being still does not mean holding yourself tightly so that you can not breathe. All things come to you on the breath. All love, all light, everything comes to you when you breathe.
Della is a psychic, healer, yoga teacher, writer and an artist. You can visit her at her website to find out about her services.